Yuma's Seven Ex-Evil Boyfriends
by AirGirl Phantom
Summary: (Very cracky one-shot inspired by a post on Tumblr. Hints of multiple pairings involving Yuma.) Yuma's school friends are rather proud of their little "Numbers Club", and some of his other friends begin to feel a little jealous... so they form their own club.


A/N: The inspiration for this ficlet comes from a post on Tumblr. I had to type the link in a really roundabout way, hope you can interpret it accurately: (exuberant-imperfection) (dot tumblr) (dot com) (slash) post / 55534784600 / zexal-112

THIS IS REALLY CRACKY AND WEIRD, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ANYWAY~

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They had little pins with the group name on them, and they had lots of in-jokes and code words, and they hung out together all the time, and sometimes when they had sleepovers they even would build a fort out of pillows and blankets in Yuma's house and name it "The Numbers Club Exclusive Fort of Awesome".

And of course, Ryoga was invited to participate in all of this tomfoolery, but he mostly declined. Yuma's friends were nice, but he wasn't really interested in being part of their group.

...He couldn't help but be a little jealous of it though, which led to an idea.

One day, as Ryoga watched the Numbers Club (including Yuma) busily building yet another pillow fort, he said, "Hey, Yuma. Come outside with me for a minute."

"Okay!" came the blindly enthusiastic reply. "What's up, Shark?" Yuma said as they stepped outside the front door.

"I need you to yell your catchphrase," Ryoga said, steeling his resolve before continuing, "_as loudly as you possibly can._"

Yuma only looked taken aback for a moment before utter glee overtook his face as he shouted, _**"KATTOBINGU DA, ORE!"**_ The sound waves were practically visible, seeming to penetrate the air, and energy seemed to radiate from Yuma like a beacon.

Ryoga did his best not to wince at the volume. "Great, thanks, that's all I needed. You can... go back inside."

Yuma seemed confused. "Aren't you coming back in? We're almost done with the fort!"

"In a minute," said Ryoga, motioning for him to go ahead. "I've got something to take care of."

"Alrighty!" Yuma said with a grin and a shrug, heading back into his house.

Meanwhile, Ryoga leaned against the nearest vertical surface, arms crossed, and waited to see who would heed the call.

Astral was the first to arrive, floating casually out of Yuma's house through an open window. "Yuma?" he said, looking around for the boy.

"He's not here, but stick around for a minute," said Ryoga. Astral looked at his curiously but remained floating outside.

The next to arrive was Kaito, gliding with Orbital. He landed looking mildly irritated... but that could have just been his face.

Before Kaito could say anything, a Barian portal opened above Yuma's doorstep and out dropped Alit in his human form. This was immediately followed by the roaring of a motorcycle and Gauche joining their little party. In the chaos of everyone demanding to know where Yuma was and why the hell they had heard him screaming from miles and/or worlds away, there were two more arrivals by foot – Mihael Arclight, better known as III, and Okudaira Fuuya, who ruffled his hair self-consciously as he approached the house.

"Basically," said Ryoga, when things had finally calmed down a bit and everyone realized he was the one with all the answers, "you all passed the test."

"Which test?" Astral inquired.

"You all heard Yuma's call, and you all came here," Ryoga continued. He threw in a shrug to seem more indifferent. "That means we all have something in common."

Gauche sneered disdainfully. "So what do you wanna do, start a club or something?"

"...Yes."

Kaito's face went from vaguely irritated to stone-cold _done_. "Are you kidding."

III grinned. "Sign me up!"

Fuuya smiled as well. "Me too!"

Alit shrugged. "Why the hell not."

"What is the name of this club?" Astral asked. Ryoga shrugged.

Gauche was still protesting indignantly, but Kaito's death glare was softening into the look of a man who had accepted his fate. The more enthusiastic ones present began gathering everyone's names, seeing if there was any sort of acronym between them or anything that would be a fitting name for their new club.

"Wait you guys," said III, an epiphany dawning on his face. "Ryoga, you said that the thing we all have in common was Yuma, right? Hearing his voice?"

Ryoga nodded warily.

"I have an idea for the name then," III said, then paused dramatically, looking like his birthday had come early. He looked around at everyone in the group, before saying, "Yuma's Seven Ex-Evil Boyfriends".

Reactions were varied: there was flushing, spluttering, a bit of cussing, confusion, and at least one long-suffering sigh.

"I was never evil!" protested Fuuya weakly.

"Neither was I, as far as I am aware," said Astral calmly.

Ryoga ignored Fuuya and said to Astral, "You've dabbled. It counts."

"I'm _still_ evil," said Alit with a amused grin.

"Not for long if you keep up all the flirting with Yuma," Ryoga accused with a smirk.

"I'M NOT HIS BOYFRIEND," Gauche boomed over the squabbling. Everyone went quiet and just sort of... looked at each other.

Suddenly the front door burst open, and there in the doorway was none other than Yuma himself.

"Hey, Shark, when are you – WHOA!" Yuma stared in awe at the mass of people on his doorstep, and as he recognized them all, an enormous grin grew on his face. "GUYS! I don't know why you're all here, but this is great!"

He turned and ran back into the house. They all listened as his voice as it faded into the indoors. "Hey! Hey sis! There's more people here, do we have more food?"

In the following silence, III looked at each of them in turn, then settled his gaze on Gauche. "...Let's face it, we've all seen the error of our ways and fallen in love with Yuma at some point in all of our lives. Might as well form a club and make it official."

"More like a support group," Kaito muttered, rubbing his temples and trying to sound angry but lacking the energy.

They all conceded and signed a piece of paper (someone wrote Astral's name for him), which Ryoga carefully folded tucked away into his jacket. To Yuma's later disappointment, they then all went their separate ways...

_But they'll be back, _Ryoga thought, as Yuma dragged him by the hand back into the house for more Numbers Club shenanigans. _As long as he's here._

"_**Yuma's Seven Ex-Evil Boyfriends"**_

_**Club/Support Group**_

_Mihael Arclight_

_Okudaira Fuuya_

_Alit_

_Kamishiro Ryoga_

_Astral_

_Tenjo Kaito_

_Gauche_


End file.
